Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tip #1 for living in Japan - the dreaded squat toilet...

So you have to go bad...but you don't want anyone to notice that you just got back from a #2. Well you really only have 3 options.

1. Buck up and hold it like a man (or gently like a woman).
2. Look really hard for a nice bidet (usually found in newer parts of buildings).
3. Take off your pants and hang it up and go commando.

I usually choose #2 but if that fails and I can't #1...then I strip and go with #3. But if you are in a public area, make sure to take out any valuables and keep it close to you. Someone might try to steal your pants for quick cash if you leave your wallet in. When done, just clean up put your pants back on and off you go without a new wrinkle on your pants.

Well, someone is probably thinking..."What if it's really cold outside?" Then, again, you have the 3 options but with #3, you can wear thermals underneath and keep those on while you go! You stay warm and still keep the wrinkles away.

Bonus tip...

You hate going to public toilets because the toilet paper (TP) is like sandpaper. Well...in this case you have 2 options.

1. Take your own damn paper and stop complaining about FREE TP...Be glad that they even provide it. Some places will have TP dispensers that you have to BUY!

2. Keep a little bottle or zip lock bag with you and fill it with water at the sink. Then as you roll up the paper to wipe, just wet the TP and it's nice and soft. The added bonus is that you really get your pucker clean without any klingons...er I mean cling ons.

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